Meaningless Dialogue Almost too Expansive for the Meaningless Images that Surround It

1/14/09

What I hate most about Jack Elrod's style is the progression of time within the context of his medium. Let's face it, everyone's actions over the last week are justified. Patty should have left after Mark returned, and Cherry and Mark should seek out Patty after finishing up breakfast. Nobody's being impolite, overbearing, or unreasonable. All I'm wondering is why we have to be present for all of these fucking scraps of minutae. Three small panels at a time.

We didn't need to watch the Trails saddle up the horses for their woodsy ride. Do we need to see Doc holding up plate after plate of breakfast items? Do we need the constant references to Cherry's revolting haircut? We get it -- Mark's hair would look identical if he grew it out. Get a fucking story going here, dammit. I'm running out of things to make fun of.

This Relentless Blathering Is Not Acceptable

1/12/09

Quit being such a sleepy-eyed drama queen and spill the beans, Patty. You've already wasted a week of our lives framing your dilemma; now it's time to share. No more tears. No more uninteresting backstory. Do it.

Look at all that fire in the hearth. Do you remember the fire?

Of course you don't. It wasn't there before. That is an unsolicited conflagration, Patty. Even fireplaces are anxious to hear your tale of pathetic woe. So speak your piece and let the khaki avenger figure out the rest. He won't stop punching rednecks until the problem is solved.

Patty Craves Forgiveness in Any Form; Mark and Cherry Meld Faces

1/9/09

As anticipated, Mark's early return has thrown a wrench in Patty's confession plans, and now all she can do is wait for Mark and Cherry to reclaim their respective jawlines and exchange pleasantries with the rest of the family. Mark's face in panel two suggests that he may have walked away with a little more chin than he brought to the hug; it's a problem that will take presidence over all non-face-related issues this morning.

Patty is one mea cupla over the standard apology limit for this situation -- whatever she's done is seriously eating away at her conscience. In no way does that excuse her grating pleas for atonement. I'm just saying, it's bad.

Spit it Out, Patty. SPIT. IT. OUT.

1/8/09

It merited attention before, but now I feel compelled to point out that Mark n' Cherry's Lost Forest abode is preposterously brown. It looks like a giant chocolate monster pooped it out for them. Monochromatic logs can be expected, but matching oven mitts, frying pans, mirrors, model ships, and deer carcai?

Mark and Cherry -- huge fans of the brown.

Cherry's speaking for all of us in the first panel. Patty needs to get a grip and explain the predicament, not the rationale behind her visit to Big Dump Cabin. The line between suspense and poor timing isn't that thin -- a three-part sequence would've been appropriate, but day three of "what the fuck is your problem, Patty" has come and gone and we're still in the dark. Shitty installment all around.